Monday, 5 May 2008

GHD: You should be done (Because now I hate my hair)

I'd like you to cast your mind back to around 5 years ago, and think about what your hair used to be like... Remember those good times? The fun times? When hair was free, to do as it wanted, any ole time?

That was until the launch of the GHD: New religion in hair care (Thy will be done). And now, what are we? A nation of obsessed, split-ended, heat protection spraying, straightened clones! Even my mother has some GHDs, and I ask you all, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?It is very apt that GHD use the association of religion to market their product, because both these things are steeped in fear and conformity. (To be clear this is not a 'DOWN WITH GHD' campaign, because lord knows, I need em and I won't pretend otherwise. It is just 'Shit, what happened, man? I used to love my hair'. Because I did love it. I loved the random curls inter-mixed with straight bits and kinky bits. I loved that it had natural root lift and was unruly and messy. I even managed to embrace the fact that it was never sleek and chic like the girls on the adverts). Now almost everyone is obsessed with straight hair, and being scared of what our bouffant will look like keeps us reaching for the ceramics everyday.

For the past five years I (and most of Britain) have straightened my hair almost daily. Not always the whole head you understand, but at least the front section. Recently, I decided that my hair was starting to suffer a little (OK, it was my hairdresser's shrieks that made me conclude this) and thought maybe I should lay off of a while.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, yeah right. Have you tried to go a day without using them? My hair now looks utterly ridiculous! I don't think that this is down to my hair having changed either, but the fact that my perception of what it should do has changed. I am now programmed to think that hair should lie perfectly at 90 degrees. To make matters worse, I recently had my hair cut to resemble the wigs in the YSL AW 08/9 show. And well, while it looks fab when poker like, in au naturalle mode I literally look like I have a mushroom shaped head. Now, while the fact I now have two muffin tops may amuse my boyfriend in no end of ways, it doesn't help me in the real world, simply because I have no intention of going to work looking like a vegetable.

So, I have a plan to ween myself off this beastly crack I call GHD. Starting with once a week, I will leave my hair to do as it pleases (this will of course coincide with being at home or the wearing of a rather fabulous hat) and progress from there to twice a week and so on. Obviously, this will all be utterly dependent on my hair growing into a more suitable vegetable shape though, something resembling celery perhaps? In the mean time, I am just going to keep praying to the gods that my hair won't be done.


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