Wednesday, 10 September 2008

The Spanish harem

Whilst frequenting the towns and beaches of the Andalusia, I noticed that the tourists there seemed to have developed a particular fondness for harem pants. They were everywhere. Wandering on the steep precipices of Ronda, lay idle on the beach at Sanlucar, loitering by orange trees in Seville, drinking amber coloured wine and gorging on free tapas in Granada, watching a shoot out in the wild west in the Almeria desert (yes really) and finally meandering between brightly coloured parasols in Nerja.

Before you cast aspersions and accuse me of wearing harem pants in all of these places, I must firstly assure you that t'was not I, then *waggle* my finger disapprovingly at you.

I first registered this foreign fad after seeing a spate of the said garment in Ronda. It seemed like a good idea (for professional research purposes of course) to keep track of how many I encountered on my journey. During a particularly lovely glass of vino rosado in the Albaicin region of Granada (all work and no play makes Edith a very dull fashionista indeed) I lost count somewhere after 20.

This of course got me musing somewhat incoherently. Few items of clothes are able to divide public opinion so venemently as the harem pant. So why has the harem pant become a hit with holidaymakers? NY, London, Milan and Paris are arguably the fashion capitals of the world and far more trend forward. And yet very few people are seriously seen rocking them on their streets. This, despite the major design houses pushing the look down the runways season after season, a flurry of bloggers discussing their merits month after month and fashion students promoting them in their graduate collections year on year. Thus far the slouchy, dropped crotch trouser that is the harem pant has eluded us, remaining inconspicuous in the street style stakes and failing to be adopted in any mainstream way.

It is obvious to most sane people (please note, I myself to not claim to be sane) why this is. As an item of clothing the harem pant is not flattering. Not in the slightest (mind you, that doesn't always matter - the skinny jean movement it proof of that). At best you look stumpy and possibly flabby, and at worst like a dwarf with elephantiasis. The harem pant isn't all-bad though. After all, they are definitely the prolapse friendly trouser. If your intestine happens to fall out of your arse you are definitely going to want to own a pair of these bad boys (along with a inflatable rubber ring).

However, I don't believe that all of the holidaymakers I saw in Spain have had the displeasure of a vital organ slipping out of place. So by golly there must be another reason for this unfathomable craze!

Another 2 glasses of vino rosad0 I realised there is... And it's simple! The joy of a vacation is that it's a break from your everyday life. You don't have to go to work, clean your house or eat your 5 a day. And that dear Watson is the crucial element to the harem pants winning formula. You see, very few people could wear this style of trouser to work and not feel self-conscious or worse, inappropriately dressed. But once abroad the harem trouser fulfills almost every holiday specification you could ever have. They are a stark contradiction to the normal working wardrobe, they are light and comfortable, and finally they couldn't possibly make you look any worse if they crease in transit. DO. YOU. SEE. THE. PURE. SWEET. FRICKIN. GENIUS. OF. THEM. NOW?

This frankly startling realisation combined with the wise words of Queen Michelle from Kingdom of Style about the harem pant has me convinced that they truely are fashion greatness personified!

"whenever I see ladies rocking these 'difficult' trousers I am simply filled with awe and admiration at their balls for laughing in the face of conventional ideas of 'sexy' and doing their own thing."
I'm now absolutely convinced that I need a pair! These ones from Topshop fit the bill perfectly; they're a bargainous £22. Obviously I won't be wearing them to pound the streets of London just yet, I'll save their first outing until my next trip abroad. But until then I am strangely comforted by the knowledge that should I manage to accidentally dislodge an organ from inside my body in the mean time, I'll be suitably attired to deal with the situation. Edgy with medical benefits? No wonder harem pants are all the rage.

Edith

Thursday, 4 September 2008

Autumn/Winter 08/09 Trends

Want to update your wardrobe, but not sure where to start? Need help figuring out which autumn trends are for you? Look no further! Some Like it Fashion is here to help! This questionnaire will help you identify your key looks for the season; because as we all know the many complex problems of the universe can be solved with a simple and clich├ęd survey:

Which of the following quotes do you most identify with?

  1. Work is like a sport. It's hard and we all want to win. (Harold Tillman)
  2. Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man. (John Lennon)
  3. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. (Proverbs 31)
  4. I never leave underwear at a guys place because I never see it again. (Samantha Jones, SATC)
  5. I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society (Marylin Manson)
What is your favourite colour?
  1. The colour of money.
  2. Brown, the shade of the earth.
  3. Traditional warm shades of red and green.
  4. Anything that brings attention to my tits.
  5. Black. Dark black.
What do you have on your i-pod?
  1. A mixture of stuff. Classical, power ballads, soft rock. I'm very eclectic. And clever.
  2. I-pod? Dude, you've gotta get it on vinyl!
  3. What's an i-pod? Do you mean music? I have a Cliff Richard album on cassette. Mistletoe and Wine is a tuuuuune!
  4. Cheesey pop, stuff I can reaaaaally dance to. Britney, Xtina, Girls aloud, Beyonce, they're all on there.
  5. Bauhaus, The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees. I like bands that have black album covers.


What is your theme tune?

  1. Eye of the tiger, Survivor.
  2. Born to be wild, Steppen Wolf
  3. A spoonful of sugar, Mary Poppins
  4. I touch myself, The Divinyls
  5. Ignore the machine, Alien Sex Fiend
What is your favourite part of the body?
  1. My mind. The body is over sexualised by the media. I want to be appreciated for my intelligence and wit. There is more to me than my breasts.
  2. Whoaaah, heavy question dude. I guess my hands. Without them, how would I smoke?
  3. The womb. It gives the greatest gift. That of life.
  4. The schlong. Yum.
  5. Hair. It can be died black.
If you had to watch a Demi Moore film ,which would you chose?
  1. G.I. Jane
  2. One Crazy Summer
  3. Ghost
  4. Disclosure
  5. The Seventh Sign. (It is dark film. Dark is like black.)
If you were an animal you'd be...
  1. A crocodile. They're adaptable survivors. They see what they want and they get it.
  2. A bird. They are free of the politics of our society. They can fly and roam as they please.
  3. A dog. They are loyal, loving and reliable. Just like me.
  4. A monkey. They can masturbate in public and nobody judges them.
  5. A bat. They are black and they like blackness.
If you were a bear you'd be...
  1. A spectacled bear. I want to be taken seriously.
  2. A sloth. Chillax, man.
  3. A polar bear. They are the cutest by far.
  4. A panda. When I have sex it's newsworthy.
  5. An American black bear. Because they're black.

*Drumroll*

Prepare to be dazzled (and a little freaked out at how spookily accurate I am) . If you answered mostly:

1: Ambitious, driven and tenacious. That's you that is. You work hard and you are going places. Daaaam straight. Your wardrobe reflects your desire to be taken seriously by your peers. You want to look successful yet intimidating. And riiiiich. The super-structured tailoring and sculptural trends are perfect for you. Look to YSL, Balenciaga and Jil Sander for inspiration.

2: Although you may not know it yet, deep, deep, deep, deep down you are a kaftan wearing, incense lighting, peace loving, hairy armpitted, stinky hippy. Yup. Embrace your inner tree hugger this season with Gucci, Hermes and Dries Van Noten. They will let you indulge your wandering Indian spirit with their interpretations of folk (fringing, paisley and embroidery) and tunics and trousers trends.

3: Hear that? Listen quietly. Yes, that. It´s your ovaries throbbing. You see family is your main focus. Either the one you have or the desire in your womb to have one ASAP. Clothes are secondary to this (a very important secondary mind you). This season you´ll need washable items in colours and prints that don't show chocolate hand prints and baby vomit. Tartan is ideal for this, as is the heritage trend with its practical fabrics. Dolce and Gabanna, Vivienne Westwood and Paul Smith should be your starting points.

4: Oh you doity, doity, doity, dooooog. You loved to get dressed up, for well, any occasion. But not to the detriment of your body mind you (you side stepped that whole sack dress debacle unlike the rest of us). You'll love this season's peek-a-boo (sheer fabrics such as chiffons) and tomato red trends. They're ideal for the gorgeous exhibitionist in you. Check out Dior, Giles and La Perla.

5: Black. You love it. You wear it not because you feel safe in it like most people, you choose black because you feel it differentiates you from the masses. You wear it with an edge. If you weren't a goth a school you almost certainly secretly fancied one. Channel your black passion using the lace and soft goth trends this season. Prada, Givency and Chanel will be right up your dark street.

Edith

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