SOME LIKE IT FASHION OUT OF BLOGOSPHERE AUTO REPLY

I am now out of the blogosphere rocking my Panama hat in sunny Spain until September the 10th 2008.

I will deal with all emails and comments as soon as I can be arsed on my return. If your query is urgent please check back as I have scheduled a post for next week. Alternatively you can sign up to my RSS feed or subscribe in an email below.

Stylish regards

Edith

The allure of the peep-toe boot

One of 'fashion's' greatest strengths is its ability to make us covet things that sometimes at best can only be described as ridiculous. For example, I stumbled across these 'vintage 80s neon leotard bandage onesie shorts' (the sellers words - not mine) on ebay, which are evil for so many reasons. And yet I find that I desire them. I long to touch the stretchiness of this obscure playsuit. It's absurd. But I feel myself drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Excited yet scared by the styling quandary they create. I can remember feeling like this 15 years ago. I was 11 and it was school sports day. I kept thinking that I needed to wee. It was actually nerves and adrenalin rather than a weak bladder. If I win... how will I work a gold badge / Lycra jumpsuit seamlessly into my existing wardrobe?

I feel the same way about the peep-toe boot as I do about the stretch clown suit from ebay. I first noticed peep-toe boots when they began to emerge on the catwalks last winter, I was temporarily distracted by a rather fetching boyfriend blazer though so didn't have time to give them any serious thought. However, I've since refocused my mind because they're starting to surface in stores and have been the topic of many a conversation at work. I have to admit, I want a pair so bad that I am considering going into Browns and licking this Marni pair in the vain hope that the sales assistant will take pity on the mad lady and and just comp me a pair.

Highly unlikely, I think you'll agree (not the licking obviously, the getting a pair for free). So, as I can't afford to buy so much as a button right now (I bid big on the neon onesie) I'm going to use this post as a form of therapy to help me through my shoe grief. It is after all a very wise action indeed for me not to purchase these divine Tory Burch boots from Net-a-Porter.
First and foremost, lets discuss practicality (blasphemous in fashion I know). Boots with holes in! Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's just asking for trouble given that the worlds population of 2 billion cows have decided to avenge us for eating them the only way they know how, by farting. They release so much methane that they have assured the destruction of the planet by accelerating global warming (it's definitely the cows fault, not ours). This has caused us to be plagued by rain even in August, never mind in the traditional boot wearing season! Feet that have prolonged exposure to cold, damp conditions get trench foot! I know! I'm willing to risk developing a hump back by dragging my enormous and over filled handbag around town; but a stinky fungal infection is quite a different kettle of fish. My vintage clothes hum-ding bad enough as it is, I really don't want to add another layer of smell to the situation. Oh, and don't even get me started on the aesthetics of these boots. The proportions are, well, plain strange. Clumpy and cumbersome.

Lastly, there is a strong chance that the peep-toe boot will be a flash in the fashion pan (like those pixie flats that turned up at the toe - remember those?). Next year everyone will snigger at them and be like "soooooooo 2008". Hmmm? Actually, thinking about it, maybe they will smile and be like "sooooooo 2008" in a good way? Because they are iconic. You know? Instantly recognisable for their sheer brilliance, like the Balenciga floral meets American football collection. And the proportions do sorta work really, dontcha think? A bit like a screwball icecream, odd yet delightful with a weird surprise at the end.

Oh, who am I kidding? I love them. I neeeeed them! I'm not ashamed! MY NAME IS EDITH PURDY AND I LOVE PEEP-TOE BOOTS! Godammit, they look good and I can wear them with my vintage 80s neon leotard bandage onesie shorts so they are practical after all! ARE. YOU. WITH. ME?!

*tumbleweed*

OK, fine. I can live with that. The cheese stands alone. Just promise me that when I'm still wearing them next year and you say "they are soooooo 2008", that you'll say it with a smile and pretend not to notice the smell.

Edith

AAAAaaaarrrrRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGggggggghhhhhhhH

Some things make me irrationally angry. Like press releases. I often write this rage off though, because at the time of scanning them I am usually hungry/stupidly busy/plain arsey.

I got the below press release on Monday (it was sent to me at work, not via Some Like It Fashion). On reading it I was incensed. But I attributed that to the fact that it was 1:30pm, the rain was hammering down and I'd just spent the last 30 minutes on the phone to a woman who couldn't grasp that I was not Mary Portas, nor was I in anyway connected with her.

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Paris Hilton drops 5 pounds with the help of Pomegranate Power!

Paris Hilton recently caused controversy with her recent weight gain due to smoking pot and eating too much -they say that "Paris gets stoned all the time" and eats like crazy. She supposedly started noticing that her clothes were tight and decided that she needed to give up the herb if she didn't want to buy a new wardrobe. Paris became concerned recently because her clothes have been growing tight and she knew she was gaining weight.…when Paris couldn’t get into certain dresses she loved recently, she decided to give up smoking pot. She has taken to giving up pot and training back at the gym & taking the wonder supplement Pomegranate Power (from LA) to detox & get herself back in shape!

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Holy Shoite, I think that may be the crappiest press release I have EVER had the misfortune to read. Even if I weren't hungry/stupidly busy/plain arsey I would still sentence the author to be put up against a wall and shot with shit. The pomegranate link is tenuous, the repeated mention of pot tacky and on top of that it's beyond badly written.

Well, another day another poor PR pitch. I'm off to get a chocolate croissant from Pret before today's onslaught on my in-box begins...

Edith

The image shown did not accompany the press release. I used it for illustrative purposes.

Return of the crop, once again

Ants always fall over on their right side when intoxicated. Fact. Madonna has no loo roll holder in her bathroom in London. She just stacks her toilet tissue on the floor. FACT. The crop top is back. FACT.

I'll start this session by responding to each of your rebuttals in order.

Yes, they really do always fall on their right side. Google says so - it must be true! And, I agree. Someone as rich as Madge really should have a toilet roll holder. If I had her money I would hire a small dancing monkey to hold my bog roll. I would call this monkey Geoff. Geoff would do a little dance every time I went into the bathroom. Finally, the crop top is back. With vengeance. Actually, not with vengeance. I just like the way that sounds.

You are right to be scared by this last fact by the way. There aren't many things scarier in this world than crop tops. Except maybe clowns. Clowns wearing crop tops.

The reason the crop top is able to induce such panic in us boils down to our perceptions of body image. A nasty side effect of this particular garment is that it emphasises our tummies. Very few people have a stomach that they are proud of. And even fewer of them have a belly that the rest of us would be happy to see habitually. It must be a very bad thing indeed that the crop top is having a resurgence. Right?

Wrong! And I shall tell you for why!

The crop top actually encourages us all to cover up our muffin tops!

How so? That is an excellent question, dear reader. I'm so glad you asked.

The average human being has no problem with wearing jeans that are slightly too tight. They don't tend to worry about a t-shirt that is just a bit too small. This results in many millions of people involuntarily yet frequently exposing their tummy region as they go about their day-to-day business.

I am one of these 'humans'. I wear jeans that create a small, soft (soft sounds better than flabby) overhang (overhang sounds marginally better than spare-tyre). My t-shirts are shit (shit sounds better than cheap) and ride up. This means that at random times during the day my belly just pops out. *POP* Much like a 5 year old child. Although I cringe and acknowledge that this must be very grim for my colleagues, it doesn't prompt me to buy new clothes in order to prevent this happening. For one, I am delusional enough to think that I will lose those few pounds (by doing no form of exercise) that cause this to occur.

And this is where the crop top really comes into it's own. While I can convince myself that no-one notices me constantly yanking my t-shirt down over my gut and that this behaviour is acceptable, I could never, ever, ever make my peace with having my 'soft' stomach on constant parade in the way it would be if I wore a crop top.

But I do intend to rock the crop top look. Oh yessum indeedio!

If the noughties taught us anything about fashion, it's that layering is 'key'. And to make the crop top work, layer it we must! Kingdom of Style has some quirky ideas on how to do this (see the image above) that are definitely worth test-driving. If however you are looking for something a little less controversial (and with less potential for a wardrobe malfunction) then you have a couple of options. A cropped, fitted top looks contemporary over a long t-shirt and a skirt that is slightly longer in length at the hem. Wear with 'fierce' shoes. Team a loose, cropped piece of fine knitwear with a shirt, some high-waisted wide leg trousers and bold jewellery for a sophisticated Marni-esque look. And, if all else fails just throw one on with your skinny jeans and whatever clean top you have to hand. Just make sure it's long enough to cover your belly.

Edith

Posts of Note

I do love a distraction from the trend mill that is fashion meedja. Sometimes these distractions come in the form of youtube and a search for 'funny kittens' or 'cute puppies'. Occasionally they are found by chasing small children with sticks. But more often than not they come from reading fashion blogs under the guise of 'work'. Enjoy:

• An insight into Karl Lagerfeld's life. I SO want this to be real.
• I Luw Fashion reminding us of why we all luw Prada.
• Trend de la creme shaking her bunny maker at us.
• The Coveted on C.Neeon. We needed reminding, the Topshop collaboration was too long ago.
  
• Miss at La Playa bringing a stunning fashion shoot to our attention.
• Flying Saucer discussing Britain's next top model.
• Chinese Vogue meets the Olympics featured by Fashion O lic.
  

Edith